Land of Epic Derp

I'm DeAnna, a.k.a. D.J. Evans. I write stories, draw manga, and other stuff XD

How to Write Stuff: Part I (Mind of a Writer, plus Spelling and Grammar)

This entry, which is extremely long by the way, is about writers and writing. Sometimes I might say “she” and “her” when I’m talking about a writer… XD Sorry, anyway, if you happen to be a dude writer. XD

Another point I wish to make is that this may end up being absolute nonsense. I’m just gonna write whatever comes to my head. *laughs maniacally*
ALSOOOO do note that I know I’m not a PERFECT writer. I still have a lot to learn, and it is therefore my destiny to LEARN ALL THE THINGS!!!!

…Herp Derp.

herpy derpy nerp.



*explodes* I decided to write down everything I know/don’t know about story writing. This is going to be very interesting. Grab a box of waffles and put on your seatbelt, safety goggles, and hazmat suit. You are about to enter the mind of a writer.

And it looks something like this.


What that picture is missing, however, are the flying narwhals. There are a lot of those.

Yes, I know it sounds like what I’m saying has absolutely nothing to do with writing and is not contributing to this lesson.

*sticks cane in your face* FOOL. It has everything to do with it.

Ah, sorry for calling you a fool. But it’s hard to understand a writer.

The mind of a writer is:


A writer is also schizophrenic to some degree. Yes, I am, and so am I. I talk to myselves every moment of the day.

A writer is ALWAYS writing. Anything and everything has the ability to inspire an entire story for me, whether it be an epical black hole in space or a weird little bug crawling on my desk.

*carefully catches bug in my bare hands, gives it a full name, debates philosophy with it for a few hours, gives it a hug and a kiss, and lets it outside with a promise to write*

Now that I’ve explained the inside of a writer’s head, I’ll show you a bit of what mine looks like.


Heh, that’s not much. Just a tiny piece.

A WRITER IS ALWAYS A PART OF HER STORIES. She knows her characters personally, she loves them as if they were real people.
And that is exactly why writers tend to be that lone, weird person. XD

The thought just struck me of what would happen to me if I didn’t write… O_O IT’S HORRIFYING. NO, WORSE. I’ll just say that I am a writer, that is who I am, and if I were anyone else I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be me either, or me.

I have issues.

Anyway, I’ll try to wrap up my point by saying this: If you’re a true writer, and you’re not like this yet, you’re going to be. And if you never end up like this, you might not write a whole lot of books before you quit.

Let’s see… Ooh, I have a story. Or something.

Two people that I closely know, and will not name: a person with inspiration, and a person with motivation.
The person with inspiration wrote absolutely beautiful stories and poems, and very very easily. But he didn’t have motivation, so he quit. The person with motivation had the drive to write stories, but didn’t have anything to write about. The two now co-write; the person with the inspiration helps out the person with the motivation.

If you have both inspiration and motivation, you are the ultimate form of a writer. ^u^

Inspiration grows with practice. Eventually you'll be coming up with like two thousand story ideas a day. Sorta. X3

Alright. That’s all I’m going to say about writers. Now for what they actually write.

I’ll start with the more technical (or whatever) things and then move on into the complicated stuff like storyline.

First thing: grammer and spelling.

I hope you caught the spelling error above.

Now… A long time ago, we used Old English. People spelled things however the heck they felt like. You could spell “you” as “yoo”, “yu”, “ewe”, or “iough”.
But there is something I must say.

*audience gasps*

Sorry to be the one to break it to you… I hope the shock wasn’t too much. (I’m a mean person XD)

Anyway, I know spelling can be hard, but we have both dictionaries and spellcheck. They aren’t hard to access and use, so I’d appreciate it if you’d use them when you aren’t entirely sure how to spell a word. XD It’s just hard for me to read things with poor spelling… *twitch twitch*

It's probably a bit too obvious that you shouldn't use leetspeak, like saying "u" instead of "you", or "r" instead of "are." I see too many modern young writers doing that though.

And grammar. If good grammar has not you, hard it make to understand it things does. Besides… it’s just totally unprofessional. XD

I use a writing system that has both spellcheck and grammarcheck. It’s Microsoft Word Starter. But the only reason I have either of the checks on is in case I accidentally make a double-space. XD


Not only that, but it's hard to understand.

You probably know what a paragraph is. But instead of continuing under the assumption that you know what it is, I’ll explain real quick JUST IN CASE: it’s a group of sentences (occasionally one sentence, but not often) that are all grouped together because they’re all talking about a single specific subject. I was sure to split up this area into very nice little paragraphs so that you can see what I mean.

This blog entry’s paragraphs are split up by having space between each paragraph, but in books and stuff, they’re usually split up by having a number of little spaces before the first word of the new paragraph. (Usually three or five, I think. I'm not sure EXACTLY how it works... But just put three spaces before the first word.)

   Like this. [this paragraph is about kittens ] [words] [more words and stuff] [filler so that you can see what I mean] [blah blah blah blah blah blah blah]
   [new paragraph because I’m now talking about a different subject, which is cheeseburgers] [the cheeseburgers don’t have anything to do with kittens so it’s a new paragraph] [do you notice the little bit of space just before the new paragraphs?]

Ok, that was awkward. But hopefully you completely understand my meaning. XD

PARAGRAPHS ARE VERY HARD TO UNDERSTAND AT FIRST. I didn’t use paragraphs for a long, long time because I couldn’t understand when to start a new paragraph. But eventually the feeling of where paragraphs should be just kind of… grows. And someday, your books are all automatically split into beautiful, clean little orderly sections. ewe *glows at the thought*

Here’s something I didn’t know at first: every time a different person talks, it’s a new paragraph.

   “Here’s an example. I’m Person #1. I’m saying stuff!”
   “I’m Person #2 and I’m a new paragraph!”


   “I’m Person #1! I’m saying stuff!” “I’m Person #2! I SHOULD BE A NEW PARAGRAPH!”

If you have two different quoted sections (speeches) in one paragraph, it’s automatically assumed that it’s the same person talking. That’s not good if it’s not ACTUALLY the same dude.

So… yeah… Paragraphs. I like them.

If you need examples to get the feel of where you should start new paragraphs, well... Read a book and just notice where THEY start them. You'll figure it out soon enough ^.^

Before I end the subject of spelling and grammar, I’ll just mention one more thing: editors. Editors are wonderful people who understand the inner workings of spelling and grammar, and are willing to help a writer make her story perfect by fixing all the scary errors.

(If you want an editor, by the way, I’m free. XD)

Welp. That's all for today. It was weird. But whatever. >w< Any questions, feel free to ask. I hope I made at least a little bit of sense in this part of the tutorial. XDDDD


(D.J. Evans)

^Oh, that's a thing. I think you should make an epical pen name for yourself. It's the name you use when you publish a book. If I didn't have a pen name, then when I grow up and publish books, they would just say "Written by DeAnna Evans." But I have an epical pen name... so it can say "Written by D.J. Evans."
It's fanceeeh.
Anyway. Yeah. If you do so, choose a good, realistic one... Not something that you would use for a username, like "Epical Rainbowbeam." Because... that's just... no.

Bye bye.

Cool Links for Writers:



For naming characters:

Maybe this will help you design characters... XDDD

An earlier blog post about characters and writing:

Thank you Mario, but the princess is in another castle!